The very last announcement for today’s Nintendo Direct came from the Regginator himself. He called back to how he views A Link To The Past as his favorite game of all time (it’s my second favorite Zelda game, behind Wind Waker). With that in mind, he showed off a new game that’ll take place in the same Hyrule as depicted in A Link To The Past, this time with 3D graphics. Gameplay and movement is the same as it was in A Link To The Past (and Phantom Hourglass/Spirit Tracks minus the stylus control). Sporting his classic Brown/Green tunic from the original game, Link will traverse the land of Hyrule in oldschool fashion. However height will now play a bigger role than before. On top of this, Link can become a 2D picture on the wall and turn corners that he wouldn’t be able to otherwise. Think Sideways NY, but with a lot more Zelda.

Currently Nintendo of America hasn’t chosen a name for this sequel, but Nintendo of Japan is currently calling it Triforce of the Gods 2 (referencing ALttP’s Japanese name). Will it be called A Link To The Past 2, fall prey to the punny A Link 2 The Past, or will we get an entirely new subtitle? The game will be made available for the 3DS around the holiday season of this year.

In other Zelda news, GBC titles Oracle of Ages and Oracle of Seasons will also be made available on 3DS Virtual Console on May 30 of this year. The original titles were vast, requiring two games to fully tell the story. Oracle of Ages dealt with time travel and followed the story of Naryu, while Oracle of Seasons had a season-changing mechanic and followed Din. You could choose which game to play first, with the second one being a sequel to the first via password.  I’ve only ever played Oracle of Ages, but would love to try that game again and finally play the Seasons game as well.

[via Nintendo Direct. Oracle Games at 29:48 mark. ALttP at 35:10]

So Shin Megami Tensei IV was announced for North America two weeks ago. Nintendo Direct was this morning. Put both together and you got… more SMT IV news! This time around it’s about the Special Edition that’ll come with all first-print all first print copies of the game. It will come with the game of course, along with a Soundtrack CD, Artbook/Strategy Guide, and a slip case for it all. Looks like Atlus is paying attention to what XSEED for The Last Story.

For those wondering why the game was $50 dollars instead of $40, this is why, and this is pretty damn sweet. Still wondering if we’ll be getting that SMT IV 3DS XL (god what a mess of initialisms). Also, it’s now official that it will release on July 16th.

[via Nintendo Direct, 34:28 mark]

Welcome one and all to Episode 7 of The Wired Fish Podcast S4. In this episode, we talk about the sudden and unfortunate demise of LucasArts. Next, we tear into the comments made by now-former Microsoft creative director Adam Orth.

Timestamp of contents after the break.

If you wish to see the raw, unedited, unedited, Lindsay Lohan version of the podcast, click here to view it.

Fun fact: this was originally the subtitle to that CG Final Fantasy movie from a few years back. OH, HISTORY SLAM, TAKE THAT, SQUARESOFT’S LONG-DEFUNCT FILMS DIVISION!

Source: IGN

For a while now, Shinji Mikami, the man behind Resident Evil (among other things) has been teasing his new game, previously code named ”Project Zwei”, because Mikami likes English like we like syphilis.

The announcement came through this morning that the project is in fact a survival horror game called The Evil Within. It’s being billed as “A return to TRUE survival horror” and “The perfect blend of action and horror.” The game is to be published by Bethesda Softworks and is being developed by Mikami’s studio Tango Gameworks. 

Appearance by Kurt Russel still pending.

Details on the game, actual-play-wise, are still pretty scarce. Initial ideas seem to indicate that Mikami wants something a little more horror-oriented than the last several years of this kind of game. But other than that, well, we know it’s all survival-y and horror-y, and then there’s the trailer. It’s…well, take a look.

It feels like I’m watching a commercial for American Horror Story: Asylum. In all fairness, the thing is well produced and relatively creepy, although if one is to draw what the game will be from this, it appears to involve decorating inmates with non-traditional, yet still aesthetically pleasing sharp things while a spider-woman sits on the window and criticizes your work. Or at least, that’s what it looks like…

OH LAWD, FLORAL PATTERNS, CAN I GET A HALLELUJAH!

All my jaded bitterness aside, I can’t deny the appeal of a good ol’ fashioned scare fest. As I’ve said on the podcast, I kind of miss the old guard of survival-horror. Where monsters were threatening, capable of killing you at a moment’s notice. Supplies were scarce, and you didn’t have access to a rambo-arsenal of weapons. You know, the horror of surviving against something way more deadly than you. And if Mikami can strike that balance again, make it exciting and terrifying, then I’m ready for some inner evil action…

Back when I first played New Super Mario Bros. on the DS in 2006, the idea of playing a new, 2D-platformer Mario Bros. was pretty damn cool. While the rest of the gaming world continued to move in 3D, Nintendo looked to its roots to bring forth a new Mario game for its handheld. 2D Platforming was going to make a comeback, and the advent of XBLA, PSN, WiiWare/eShop, and Steam helped facilitate that comeback. The indie dev scene mostly used 2D platforming as their go-to style for their games, adding new wrinkles into the mix. Some told a story about heartache using a time travel mechanic. Another used ultra-difficulty to tear out our hair. Most recently, the clone of Mario made a name for itself with a “twist” mechanic in its new game.

And so I look at Nintendo and its New Super Mario Bros. series. Nintendo has chosen this series as their platform for some of their experiments. With these experiments, the good ones would be carried over into future, non-Mario games. So what have they done so far, and what can they do in the future?

NSMB was the start of this experiment. It was a 2.5D sidescroller throwback where Mario would bring a few of his acrobatic moves from Super Mario 64 (like the Triple Jump, Wallkick, and Ground Pound).

NSMB Wii introduced the “Super Guide,” an optional mode where the game would aid you in completing a stage if it was too hard for the player. This was also a chance for Nintendo to up the difficulty dramatically from its predecessor. Along with this, it introduced 4-player simultaneous co-op, previously featured in Media Molecule’s LittleBigPlanet (though probably not the first. Just want to throw a recent example in there). The Super Guide came back in Super Mario Galaxy 2, Donkey Kong Country Returns, and Skyward Sword (I believe)

NSMB 2 on the 3DS had coins on the mind. It played around with coins being everywhere and coins made from anything. It was also a platform for Nintendo to test out how they would handle DLC for the game in the form of Coin Rush challenges. The DLC stuff was implemented into Fire Emblem Awakening and NSMB U.

NSMB U on the Wii U tried Off-TV play, asymmetrical multiplayer, and an upcoming DLC expansion where Luigi will take the lead in over 80 new stages tailored to his gameplay. Asymmetrical multiplayer looks to be making multiple appearances in future Nintendo games.

The one constant in all of these games is the look and feel of each game. Visually, New Super Mario Bros. remained mostly the same, its visual fidelity improving with each entry on new platforms. Things only got cleaner, but the Mushroom Kingdom’s design remained the same. New Super Mario Bros. U seemed to up the ante, even taking visual cues from traditional artists like Van Gogh. Gameplay wise, Mario seems to control the same as he always does. It’s not a bad thing, but you’ll see what I mean a little later.

So this experiment of Nintendo’s seems to really only affect how Mario is played. What’s not-so-touched upon is the actual playing part of Mario as its remain the same since the DS outing. Sure they’ll throw in some new suits here and there, but the core gameplay is virtually unchanged. If this series is truly a platform of experimentation for Nintendo, then I want to see Nintendo go the next step with the actual gameplay of Mario.

I finally realized the potential of how a new 2D Mario game can be done when playing Giana Sisters Twisted Dreams. The series that Twisted Dreams is part of was a blatant clone of Mario. The DS entry was a step up but still felt kinda like a Mario game, albeit with an indie bend to it. Twisted Dreams completely changes up its series’ formula and makes the game into a semi-Puzzle Platformer with the Cute/Punk changing mechanic. It shed its clone skin to become a nearly original platformer (“nearly” because I recognize that dash move). Not saying Giana Sisters out-Mario’d Mario, but if this series can just change up almost everything in a single game, then imagine how exciting it could be if Nintendo did something like this.

Using the Giana Sisters example, Let’s say you can play as Mario/Luigi. Mario is his usual self, not jumping as high as high as his brother but has better control, while Luigi can jump high and have his futterjump but takes longer to stop running — the usual stuff these two are known for. At any point during gameplay, the player can switch between these two on the fly to tackle different hazards. Say for instance there’s a series of tiny platforms that could be a nightmare for Luigi because of his lack of tight momentum. Switch to Mario and now they’ll be easy to handle. Or maybe there a huge gap that Mario cannot clear. Switch to Luigi since he can jump higher and farther. Heck, maybe bring back the turnips from Super Mario Bros. 2 and throw that into the mix.

Now let’s talk visuals. As stated before, the look of the NSMB series has remained the same. It’s sad too since the Musroom Kingdom is very colorful world full of vibrancy and life. Look no further than the first Mario Galaxy game and you’ll see what I mean. The kingdom, even at night, was a beautiful sight to behold. Imagine if this kingdom, and subsequent worlds, looked like that. Imagine if these 2.5D Mario games had the same visual direction as Trine or Giana Sister’s Twisted Dreams. Imagine if it had a more impressionist approach like Skyward Sword (or some of those NSMB U stages).

The closest we ever got to a non-traditional Mario platformer in recent memory was Super Paper Mario. It was essentially an action RPG with character switching. Each character had their own skills, strengths and weaknesses. On top of this was the 2D-3D flipping mechanic that revealed hidden passageways and blocks.

Maybe Nintendo’s tendency to keep each game practically the same could be because of safety and the fans. Last time Nintendo tried something different with the franchise, the fans got all pissy and angry at Nintendo for daring to go off the beaten path. Of course, there are those, like me, who want to see something different in these games. There’s also the fact that Mario games make Nintendo a lot of money, and there is the potential risk of having flop on their hands should they change too much of the core gameplay. For this, Nintendo needs to look no further than their experimentation lab: Nintendo eShop.

Nintendo eShop: where new Nintendo IPs are born

When something wasn’t Mario (or similarly gargantuan like Zelda), Nintendo looked to the eShop to pump out new IP that put their experiements to motion. The Catherine-like block-pushing-and-climbing puzzler Pushmo, the tower defense styled Dillon’s Rolling Western, Game Freak’s non-Pokemon Bit.Trip Runner-styled Harmoknight, etc. All of these new IP would’ve never had the time of day back then on store shelves. They’d probably remain on the drawing board and never leave. But this digital space has given Nintendo and its subsidiaries a playground to mess around with and do it with vastly smaller budgets and lower expectations. They have everything to gain and practically nothing to lose.

Look at the new Mario vs. Donkey Kong game, Minis on the Move. It’s Pipe Dream meets a slide puzzle! So already we can see that Mario is already getting in the experiment action. So why not take it a step further and try it with a traditional 2D Mario game. Really go all out with the gameplay part of Mario. Maybe try some of the examples I said above. Heck, make an entirely new Mario game that stands on its own, without the “New” moniker. Oh I know, make a sequel to our Super Mario Bros. 2 and throw Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toad back into Subcon! Maybe give it that sort of dreamy-like presentation of Trine or Giana Sisters. Maybe let Daisy get in on the action as a secret character.

It’s close, but we’re getting there.

While I appreciate that Nintendo tries different things with each of their 2D Mario games, it’s mostly centered around the delivery of these games and not necessarily its gameplay or presentation. I’ve come to understand that New Super Mario Bros. is something of pincushion of ideas with an unfortunate lack of pins. I’ve also come to understand that Nintendo avoids change as much as possible with their bigger franchises like Mario for fear of losing fans and/or money. For that, the eShop might be their answer. If something works, they can try it on a larger scale. If it doesn’t, not much was lost and they can move on. If Nintendo is Dr. Frankenstein, I want to see one hell of a monster come out of it. If it doesn’t work, hey, at least they have the bride to fall back on.

Dancin’ for joy!

With the might of a hundred clasping fists, I raise my hand in the air with absolute jubilee! Last year came news that the original Gameboy Color game Shantae might come to the 3DS virtual console. Wayforward’s Matt Bozon confirmed today via Twitter that the it will be released this summer. “Shantae Virtual Console update: looks like mid June-early July. Will keep you posted!” the tweet reads. This comes as WayForward continues to kick much ass on Nintendo’s handheld, prepping Mighty Switch Force 2 and Shantae and the Pirate’s Curse.

This also comes as the equally expensive Earthbound was announced for the Wii U’s virtual console last week. If you traverse the secondhand market regularly, you’ll see that prices for these games tend to be very high. Shantae here was one of the last GBC games released, becoming rare right from the get-go. The asking price on eBay usually hovers around $200, sometimes even higher. Amazon is no better. Keeping the price up was most likely the lack of any kind of re-release of this game (like Earthbound). There’s also the fact that most emulators can’t handle Shantae, with the only compatible one (that I know of) being rather terrible.

Hopefully this should drop those physical prices down hard, should you decide to go that route. I’ll be playing this on my shiny new 3DS XL!

Shantae hitting 3DS VC sometime around June/July [GoNintendo, via NintendoLife]

Pictured: Rayman and crew barely escaping GTA V

One of my biggest fears regarding the Rayman Legends delay was that it would be absolutely slaughtered and wasted by Grand Theft Auto V, which still has a release date of September 17th. Well those fears have subsided a bit as now Rayman Legends will be releasing before the Kraken is unleashed, launching on September 3rd in the U.S. It’s still pretty close to GTA V by two weeks, but I think this could spell good things for the game. I’d still prefer it got released some time in August (Europe will get the game on August 29th), that way the psyche of the gaming populace isn’t affixed to the September = GTA V mentality and forget about Rayman Legends. Then again, the fate of a smaller game vs. a bigger game is much more grim when the small game comes out after the bigger game. So for now, we wait for the results.

Rayman Legends launching on 360, PS3 and Wii U Sept. 3 in North America (update) [Polygon]

In the midst of all the tasty hoopla surrounding Dragon’s Crown, I thought why don’t I go check out the website of the game I covered extensively since its UTV Ignition days. I already knew that the Japanese site was updated with new U.I. and enchanting music courtesy of Hitoshi Sakimoto. So I wondered if the North American site was still the same as we saw it when UTV was still publishing it. Lo and behold, they did give it the same facelift that the Japanese site had gotten, though it probably took long for them to change it. Last time I checked was around the release of the Sorceress trailer.

The new design comes with some neat info on each of the character classes and how they’ll be dishing out the pain. They’ve even added those mesmerizing idle animations for each character. I mean god, look at them! The Fighter’s armor plates swaying, everything on the Sorceress, and that badass billowing coat on the Wizard! Sad I probably won’t main him (kinda still deciding between Sorceress, Elf, or Fighter), but hey, to each his own. Clicking on them makes them walk for a bit as well.

Checking out the “How To Play” section shows the flow of gameplay and reveals more about the characters we saw in March trailer. Among them are Princess Vivian, who’ll request that you do certain royal duties. Guildmaster Samuel, the one you report to when you take on and fulfill requests. Rannie, the coin-flipping mystery man who’ll pick locks for you, and his partner Tiki the Fairy who’ll point out secrets you might miss. Think Navi, but hopefully without the annoyance.

While somewhat minor, I’m happy to report that the images of Amazon and Sorceress have been restored. On the previous website design (now offline), when Atlus took over publishing duties, they had censored out these two on the North American version of the site at the request of the ESRB, leaving only their facial portraits. Only the Japanese site still had them. If you visit The Wired Fish, you know I’m against any form of censorship, even if it’s for things I don’t like. Well, I really, really like this game already, and would hate to see something blocked ’cause a select few are scared of boingy bits. So good on you Atlus!

Now if only Atlus took back Dragon’s Crown‘s Facebook and Twitter accounts from UTV Ignition…

Dragon’s Crown Official North American Site

I’ve been somewhat ignoring this game for a while now. Don’t know why. Probably because I didn’t quite get a good grasp on how this game was going to be played when the first trailers were shown. There’s also the fact that a lot of the KID stuff is in Japanese without English subtitles, so I did quite get a grasp of the story either. However my recent need to gravitate to the free spirits of the game industry has brought me here, and now I’m hyped as hell for the game!

Seeming to take cues from Suda51′s earlier games like No More Heroes and Killer 7, The story follows Mondo Zappa, an Assassin who recently got accepted into the “Executioner Office,” a sort of secret agency of assassins. A client comes in, asks for someone’s head, and one of the assassins take the job. Simple enough.

The focus of the trailer here is on the girls. Something tells me that Suda’s tapping into his inner James Bond/Golgo13 with the “Mondo Girls” title being a somewhat neat reference to the “Bond Girls” as Mondo is kind of a Ladies’ Man. A sharp dressed man with a bitchin’ robot arm, who could blame him? He’s also a sensible man, only asking for the kiss of a woman instead of her money, thus letting her save that money for something pretty. The role of each girl shown in the trailer is unknown, though we can sorta guess which one’s are the clients and which are the targets… I think. Nurse lady Scarlett is throwin’ me off since she looks like a target to kill, but chills above the carnage. Or maybe she’s part of a holodeck style tutorial level at the start of the game.

And is Mondo one the moon with just a space helmet on? Why yes, yes that is Mondo on the moon with just a space helmet on. This is also hinted at on the game’s official website as Moon Travel is a norm in this futuristic world. We also get a glimpse of the game’s Gigolo Glasses, a sort of x-ray visor to peek into the underoos of the game’s women. If this is like recording stuff into a logbook a la Metroid Prime‘ Scan Visor, then sign me up!

Killer is Dead will be published stateside by XSEED and will be released some time this Summer. Europe and Australia will get the game too, courtesy of Dead Island and Saints’ Row IV publisher Deep Silver.

Killer is Dead – Trailer #3 [Youtube, via Siliconera]
Mondo Girls Japanese Trailer
Killer Is Dead Official Websitej

During the PS4 Press Conference, David Cage of Quantic Dream stepped on stage to show off his company’s new tech demo for the PS4. In the moments leading up to the infamous head of an Old Man popping up on screen, he referred back to previous games his company worked on, like Omikron and Indigo Prophecy, showing off how many polygons made up each character. He relates the mode of storytelling in videogames to how exaggerated storytelling in movies were back during the silent era. And it’s true, some things had to be exaggerated in movies since cameras back then had no sound capabilities. When sound was introduced, things only got better for the movie industry, bringing out classics like Frankenstein, Trouble in Paradise, and Citizen Kane.

But I can’t really say the same for videogames, at least not to the extent that Cage suggests.

While yes story wasn’t much of selling point in many games during the Atari-NES era, things finally picked up steam during the 16-bit era. Think of it as the videogame version of film finally having sound coming from the actors. True, technology helped, but only because it became an essential — a must if you will. All the gears are finally in place. All we gotta do now is make them turn. What Cage suggests is that with more pixels, we can finally experience things that we probably were unable to before. We can feel emotions that were not possible back then.

But what Cage is suggesting, I’ve already experienced in many games already. It’s when I saw that red balloon, it finally hit me.

I would like to warn readers out there of potential early-game spoilers. So if you have interest in playing Wild ARMs, don’t read until you get there. Otherwise, read on.

The red balloon in question comes from Wild ARMs, a PS1 era RPG that used 2D graphics for its field view and 3D for its battles. So in essence, developer Media.Vision depended on the tools of the trade of the 16-bit era. The beginning of the game has you play as multiple characters separately, eventually coming together at the kingdom of Adlehyde. One of the characters, Cecilia, is a princess who is concerned that the people only care about her title and what it symbolizes instead of her as a human being. Already we have some character development. What makes this great is the fact that it actually expands on the tired “Random Girl Is Actually A Princess” cliche by explaining why she acts this way.

Anyway, we soon meet the king of Adlehyde and Cecilia’s father, Justin Adlehyde. He cared deeply about his daughter and knew about her concerns as a princess. He was an all around cool guy. About an hour or so later, an event called the Ruin Festival is underway, celebrating the rich history Adlehyde has with archaeology and the fact that you found a dormant golem. It’s here that the event in question happens. You’re told by a mother that she can’t find her son in the festival. She tells you that he has a red balloon and by another that he’s back in the town.

Once you meet him and get ready to take his ass back to his mom, he accidentally lets go of his balloon. The scene then follows the balloon as floats higher and higher into the sky, revealing an otherworldly disturbance amongst the clouds. The lighting pops the balloon, the sky “cracks” open, revealing a portal and raining down death onto the town.

When the scene reverts back to the town, it’s in shambles. And sadly, the boy you tried to bring back to his mother is now dead. Many townsfolk — men, women, and even children — die in this scene. The knights from the castle, including the king himself, try to fight off the invasion of demons currently wrecking havoc in the town. Unfortunately for him, he’s mortally wounded, so he only has a little bit of time left. He worries about his men, but most of all worries about his daughter.

In the midst of all this, the demons demand that Cecilia give up the Tear Drop heirloom to them, otherwise they’ll storm the castle can kill everyone in it (including the town refugees). The king refuses, but Cecilia concedes, turning over the Tear Drop to keep her people safe. After giving it up, she vows to reclaim it. She understand much of the responsibility that’s about to befall her. She even cuts her hair using Jack’s sword to show that she’s serious.

As if passing on the title of royalty, King Adlehyde delivers his final message to his daughter. “Be Strong Cecilia. Protect what is yours.” What was once The king’s is now Cecelia’s. And with that message, he dies in his bed.

What follows afterwards is probably one of the saddest opening credits to ever grace a videogame. Here we have a funeral for the king, a casket draped in royal cloth being held by 2D figures of knights as the townsfolk look on in mourning. Cecilia is among them, mourning the death of her last remaining parent. So not only is the death of her father weighing heavily on her heart, she now has to run her kingdom as a Queen and take on the responsibility of such a ranking. It’s a lot to handle in a single day.

Regular townsfolk carry the casket of their neighbors along with their fallen leader. The king and his people will be buried together. The king loved his people when he lived. While we never saw this, we can assume that he probably walked around town and regularly interacted with his people. In his final act as king, he’ll be buring alongside the people he not only ruled over, but whom saw as his friends. This is what he wanted to pass on to his daughter, that it’s not the royal title that holds one back, but the person. And it is that person that changes the fate of those around them.

Probably the saddest image is the children still at play, having little to no understanding about what exactly is happening. Sure they know what happened the night before, but they most likely have no idea that someone important to the kingdom has just passed away. They outright run right next to the precession. The little girl in the group drops the ball she had in front of Rudy, who had his attention affixed to the funeral. Rudy gives back the ball as Jack watches on. These two are probably aware of the fact that these children are oblivious to the moment and that it’s not their fault for not knowing. They still have their innocence in such a dark time for the kingdom.

So now you see why I think David Cage is, for the most part, wrong. I didn’t play this game in my youth. I didn’t play this for nostalgia. I played this just last month on PSN. There was nothing to reminisce over as I never played it before. At best, I played this out of curiosity since I only played Wild ARMs 3 and 4. And yet, I played through this intro, choking up at the intro credits, and thinking back to David Cage’s idea that more polygons mean more emotion — or ease to show emotion. And yet here I am, practically sobbing at a funeral scene in an oldschool RPG with shades of the SNES era of RPGs.

While yes you can have all the polygons you want and make things look believable, the other element to all of this is the delivery of emotion. When looking into the eyes of that old man at the PS4 conference, I didn’t see emotion. I didn’t see what this man was thinking, how he was feeling, what his past was. All I was a pair of eyes looking at me. Graphics are only one half of the emotional experience. Delivery is the other half, the one that drives the point home, that makes the player react.

Secondary Headline: This Week in Censorship – Tharja Can’t Catch A Break Edition.

Nintendo had released Summer Scramble, a DLC for Fire Emblem Awakening that sees our heroes in a beach episode like an anime. Given that this was a beach, we were bound to see much skin from both the male and female cast of characters. This included the much loved Tharja, who unfortunately got her ass censored by Nintendo of America (and Europe by extension).

In the original Japanese version, Tharja is seen in… well, some say she’s pulling her bikini bottom up. I say she’s pulling out a buttcheek wedgie. General consensus: bikini bottom adjustment.

So that’s what’s seen in the Japanese version. In the U.S. version, well, we get a piece of cloth covering up the booty. Many agree that Nintendo made things worse than what they intended, as now, save for the small slip of red, it looks like Tharja’s not wearing anything! The cloth there also looks like a cape, which could be construed as someone showing up for some behind-the-scenes action. Then there’s the fact that leaving more to the imagination actually makes the image much more sexier than before to some.

So nice job Nintendo of America for completely screwing up your intention entirely.

Click to enlarge

Oh but what’s this? Tharja’s not out of the woods yet. As previously seen by GoNintendo, a bit of dialogue was also changed that involved Tharja. A character named Nowi comments on Tharja’s boobs, stating, “And they said they bet your boingy bits are white as snow and soft as pillows.” Awesome! But, Nintendo of Europe’s translation changed the conversation, moving from boobs to hair. “You know! You hair! It’s so sleek, and shiny and stylish!” Welp, so much for boingy bits in Europe. Although I hear France is rather fond of hair conversation, so not all hope is lost.

To be fair though, some in the GoNintendo article comments suggest that this may be the localization teams getting different scripts to translate, so there may not be any censorship going on. BUT, The original script does in fact talk about boingy bits. So sorry Europe, you got it worse here. Here’s to America, land of the (kinda) free and home of Beeg American Teetees.

WayForward, via their blog, have reported that they have wrapped up development on Mighty Switch Force 2.

Mighty Switch Force! 2 is a wrap!  It’s pencils down for the dev team. Next stop, testing, testing, and more testing. Poor Patty… not even cybernetic citizens of Planet Land can escape the wrath of final exams.

If you missed the original announcement (or forgot), MSF star Patricia Wagon is now a Fire Fighter and must save the now reformed Hooligan Sisters. Check out the previous article for info and screenshots.

In other Mighty Switch Force news, the HyperDrive Edition on Wii U is getting an update. This update will include fixed audio levels, a smaller file size, and a new Pixel Patty character. My guess is that this will be Patty as she appeared in the 3DS version. WayForward states that they’ll announce a release date “soon”.

Mighty Switch Force! 2 News, MSFHD Update Details! [WayForward Blog]

Now THIS is something I was afraid of. Once the vocal minority got super vocal after a stonking pair of humdingers graced the internet in early April, other companies would become afraid to localize anything Japan makes due to content (instead of sales like before).

For those who don’t know, Senran Kagura is a brawler with two entries on the 3DS (Senran Kagura and Senran Kagura: Burst) and one on the Vita (Senran Kagura Shinovi Versus). The 3DS and Vita games play a little differently on each platform. The 3DS games play like a regular brawler while Shinovi Versus on the Vita plays more like a mix of Dissidia meets Dynasty Warriors. One of the major defining features of this game is the copious amounts of… action on screen. I guess you call it a brawler with Japanese fighting game sensibilities (huge combos, juggles, and crazy ass attacks).

The other thing this game was known for is for being the sort of 3DS equivalent of “The Internet is for porn.” Someone out there probably said, “the 3DS is out. It’s only a matter of time before we see boobs in 3D.” Welp, someone latched on, and Senran Kagura was made. To that person (or persons) who inquired, bless your heart. Underneath the moe voices and jigglocalypse (again, I thank Namco for bringing butt juggle physics into videogames and serving that untapped market that I’m part of), there is, like I said before, a frenetic brawler that make the likes of Bayonetta and Dissidia look in the rear view mirror and go “Oh shit…”.

The Senran Kagura games are developed by Tamsoft and published by Marvelous Entertainment. Fans clamored for this game to be localized, calling on Xseed to do the job. At first they said that they would do it if demand was there, but never made any further moves. Xseed was absorbed into Marvelous AQL, becoming Marvelous USA this past Monday. So now Xseed is essentially the U.S. branch of Marvelous Entertainment. This also meant that Marvelous AQL can now help fund them should the need arise and help them with localization.

So now we’re closer to playing Senran Kagura right? Not so fast. Again, a certain… magician threw a new unnecessary, prudish wrench into the mix. In a short Q&A with Siliconera, Xseed Director of Publishing, Ken Berry, answered some questions regarding localizing Senran Kagura Burst (or the first game by extension). “It is something that we continue to look into because we know the demand is there as lots of fans have asked us about it… but it’s just such a scary proposition due to the subject matter and difference in attitudes between Japanese culture and the more conservative culture here in the U.S.“

Well dammit, look at the slippery slope just throwing people into those frigid waters. Now I can still stand by their reasoning in terms of money. I mean, it’s something tangible and not as impalpable as cultural differences or hurting someone’s feelings. And money does make the world go ’round. But c’mon, is this really going to be a new problem? Are we just gonna look at everything Japan makes and go, “welp, she’s beyond a B cup. Can’t get localized,” or “Mm, this might offend 3% of Americans. Ain’t coming out here.” Is this something we really have to worry about too?

Ken Berry, or anyone in Xseed, never used this sort of approach before. Producer Kenichiro Takaki did, but it was more of an aside to explain releasing it as a downloadable, and it was late last year, long before magic tits tainted the holy eyes of “them”. Xseed’s usual vernacular is “Is there demand? Then we can sell.” This is the first time I’ve ever heard anyone at Xseed worry about cultural differences in terms of sexuality. And after the the whole Dragon’s Crown incident, the fact that western publishers are scared of the vocal minority that won’t even buy the game anyway just infuriates me. Whatever happened to making a game without fear of some blowhards having a hissy fit. Whatever happened to playing a game without worrying about some nutjob calling you a detriment to society? Where the fuck has this community gone to?

The bright side to this story is that Xseed is publishing Killer is Dead. The Senran Kagura producer is certainly excited in trying to bring this game stateside. And Korea’s version of the game has an English title design in the game itself. Oh oh, and Funimation got the license to stream the anime of Senran Kagura in North America. So here’s hoping Berry is simply reiterating what Takaki said last year and not just worrying because someone can’t handle magical Pointer Sisters.

Xseed Still “Looking Into” Senran Kagura Burst [Siliconera]

[UPDATE] Over on Tumblr, an Xseed employee responded to this article and sheds a bit more light on the subject. The jist of it is that the age of the girls do make this issue a lot more of a problem than what you’d normally expect. The employee also explains that this really had nothing to do with Dragon’s Crown and was an issue long before it. So I (and probably some of us) can at least put those fears to rest. I still recommend reading the full post. It’s long, but mighty enlightening. Click here to read it.

Let me start of by saying that that the game I chose is not a bad game. It’s actually a damn fine game. No knocks on quality here.

Anyway, around two weeks ago I decided to finally get a 3DS. My late arrival mirrored many who waited it out on getting a 3DS. The price for the system itself was simply too high for my liking, and I waited for a price drop. It happened, but I still wanted to see if something else was going to happen, namely a console redesign of some kind. I’ve been burned before by launch units and I didn’t want to get shafted again.

I didn’t expect a second analog stick to be added (nor should anyone at this point), but I wanted to see if something like a sleeker, sturdier build, a special edition, or something else would become available. It worked when I got my PSP as part of a Dissidia bundle a few years back. What I was waiting for here was some sort of announcement on whether or not we’d be getting that sexy Shin Megami Tensei IV 3DS here in the U.S. I got got my answer more or less when SMT IV itself would become the special edition and not get a bundle. Fair enough.

One Nintendo Direct later, and I made my decision: I would get a 3DS XL. I weighed my options on getting either the regular size and the XL. Many said that the bigger one does have some low quality speakers and pixel stretching, but it was a better handheld compared to the last time an XL version of the DSi. Some online, some of the staff, and the guy at Game Champ recommended getting an XL.

Now the question was, what should be first first game?

As I stood at the Game Champ, I looked at the selection of 3DS games they had. Some caught my eye, like Ace Combat: Assault Horizon Legacy (since its a remake of AC2), Fire Emblem Awakening, and Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon. I said to myself that I wanted to get a game that would ease me into the world of the 3DS. A game not too easy that I would beat it in a few days, but not too difficult that it’ll make me dread playing a 3DS for a while. Not that all 3DS games will be like this mind you, just that… well, I won’t be getting another full-price 3DS game for a while. So I wanted something with a wee bit a challenge and some longevity.

I looked at this wall of 3DS games for about 5 minutes. Ace Combat I knew would be fun, but I’d probably beat it in a weekend. Fire Emblem Awakening I knew might be a bit difficult as a first game. And Luigi’s Mansion: Dark Moon would have the same conundrum as Ace Combat.

I made my choice. I chose…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

THE HELL WAS I THINKING!?

Here I am putting up all of these stipulations for getting a good first 3DS game, and I choose the equivalent of getting a Metsu Shoryuken to my balls. Needless to say, I made Anthony upset over my choice because of all of these stipulations. Is Soul Hackers easy? Nope, it’s MegaTen. Will I beat it in a weekend? Thankfully, hell no. The weight of my choice didn’t sink in until I walked out of the store and realized what I just bought. “Hooray, I finally got myself a 3DS! I can finally play all those games I missed out, like Mario Kart 7, Fire Emblem Awakening, Mighty Switch Fo– Wait… Soul Hackers is a MegaTen game. And MegaTen games are… oh shit.” It did come with a soundtrack CD though, and I’m a sucker for extra goodies with my games.

Either way, I am having fun with this game, as difficult as it may be. This certainly isn’t my first MegaTen game as I have played others in the series (and no I didn’t play just Persona). It’s also rather interesting to see how people thought the Internet was going to be like back then since this is a a 1997 game. It kinda eerie to see which things did become a reality for the internet and which ones didn’t. And that Nemissa. Mm mm mm.

So if you’re a MegaTen fan and want to get Soul Hackers, go ahead and get it. If you’re getting a 3DS wondering what you’re first game should be, well… just know what you’re getting yourself into should you be getting Soul Hackers (or any game for that matter) as your first game.

And finally it goes without saying, since she gave me a hard time in Devil Survivor 2, seeing her here only made me furious. So yes, fuck Bai Suzhen.

Yes, you read that right. Balls. Let’s talk about Grant Kirkhope’s balls today. Sorry if this is really late for some, but I just saw this episode some days ago. So then, in a recent episode of Game Grumps — a collab between JonTron and Egoraptor — they had former Rare composer Grant Kirkhope on as a guest as they played a selection of N64 games he worked on. Along with composing music, Kirkhope also did the sound design for some of these games, including some voice work as well.

Many know Mumbo Jumbo from Banjo-Kazooie. With Mumbo Jumbo, much of his spoken lines were generated randomly on a syllable by syllable basis, picking from a pool of samples for him. “Ikambokem” was one such line that was formed from this randomization. Some were also full, used for specific actions performed by Mumbo. “Oominaka” is the line spoken by Mumbo when he transforms you into a bug. It’s this line that Kirkhope focuses on when telling his funny as hell story about his swollen left testicle.

“Knackers… in the U.K., is slang for balls,” He states. “At the time… my left testicle was swollen up. So I had to go to the fuckin’ doctors to see about it. It’s a bit of a long story.” And it is. In short, “Oominaka” is actually Grant saying “ooh, me knackers,” or “ow, my balls.” Needless to say, it’s pretty damn funny! You can hear him talk about his balls around the 8:38 mark.

Grant divulges a whole lot more info on his past work throughout the episode, like his work on GoldenEye, Donkey Kong 64, and Conker’s Bad Fur Day. Pretty interesting stuff. So go watch the video if you’re curious. Even if you can’t really stand Jon or Egoraptor, it’s worth watching just for Grant Kirkhope.

Special Guest Grant Kirkhope – Guest Grumps [Youtube]

Yes! Booyah! Go baby go! Woooooo! USA! USA! USA!

Ahem… pardon my lack of professionalism (and constant fellating of Dragon’s Crown). So then, it’s confirmed that the artbook Japanese gamers get when they pre-order Dragon’s Crown will also be available for U.S. fans as well. Judging from the image above, it looks to be a soft cover if the the sort of “depth” of the spine is anything to go by.

Vanillaware games have been really deserving of an artbook, and and we’re finally getting one. Along with George Kamitani’s art and concepts, other popular artists have contributed to the book too with their interpretations of the Dragon’s Crown cast. They include Code of Princess artist Kinu Nishimura, Darkstalkers artist Akira Yasuda (aka Akiman), and Street Fighter/MvC veteran artist BENGUS.

D&D: Tower of Doom and Dragon’s Crown respectively. The DC image is actually the character select screen for the game, a direct shout-out to Tower of Doom. Save for the Wizard and Amazon, even the positions of each character harken back to Kamitani’s old D&D days.

The artbook itself is like one big ol’ reunion of sorts for for Kamitani and Capcom. Capcom was the developer and publisher of the D&D games. Dragon’s Crown is practically one big homage to those games, Shadow over Mystara and Tower of Doom, as Kamitani was the director of both games. Kinu Nishimura was the artist for Shadow over Mystara. Plus, she was the touch-up artist for Akiman. To top is all off, both D&D games will be released this June as Dungeons & Dragons: Chronicles of Mystara. This is some pretty cool cross-promotion if I ever saw one.

Pre-ordering either the PS3 or Vita version will net you the 64-page artbook.

[via Stick Skills and Siliconera]

Please please please let this rumor come true. Ever since the beginning of the Xbox 360′s lifecycle, owners had to deal with Microsoft’s choice of using a points system instead of prepaid cards or a digital wallet with real dollar amounts. At first, it wasn’t too bad, but Microsoft’s method of conversion from U.S. dollars to Microsoft Points became a pain in the ass. With MS Points, full dollars come in multiples of 80 (or if you want to simplify, turn 80 into an 8). So 80 MSP = $1, 160 MSP = $2. By that account, 800 MSP = $10, 1600 MSP = $20. Sadly, not everything in the Marketplace have easily convertible asking prices. This conversion was worse in other places like the UK, Japan, and Canada (though this made some things in the U.K. cheaper).

With Nintendo, converting to points was easy since 1 point = 1 cent, so 100 points = 1 dollar. Unfortunately, that meant having leftover points with almost no way to spend them. Nintendo wizened up and starting using $ amounts in the eShop.They still haven’t unified eShop accounts, but they did say that they will at some point in the future.

Sony from the start used dollar amounts for their Playstation Store (though we all still remember that hacking incident back then, so it’s not all rainbows and unicorns over there).

According to original article over on The Verge, these dollars can be added on multiple Microsost platforms and not just one (like Nintendo). Not sure if this also means that virtual wallet amounts will be unified as well, but it’d be stupid if it wasn’t. Money can be added via prepaid, credit, and debit cards.

So finally, no more wondering how much Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams or Double Dragon Neon costs in real money.

Microsoft killing off Xbox Points in favor of currency and gift cards system [The Verge, via Destructoid]

Though it’s pretty obvious how Mario and Peach rock the casbah (I think), how do other characters in other videogame worlds squeak the bed? Luigi, sadly, is just enjoying watching his brother get nookie instead of doing the same thing to his boo. The Sims find a new toy to play with above their heads. And Chell from Portal somehow does not fall through the portal she’s sitting on. I mean sure there’s a guy there holding her on the other side, but her downward inertia should transfer to sideways inertia and make the guy holding her fa — Nevermind. But that Zelda. Link is one lucky, lucky hero.

Be sure to click the closed caption button for English subtitles.

SURICATE – La Vie Sexuelle des Jeux Vidéo / Sex in Video Games [Youtube, via RuinedChildhood]

Another Nintendo Direct has gone by this morning. It wasn’t long, but it offered some new info on games we already knew about, namely some release dates on long awaited games. There were a couple of reveals too involving Sonic The Hedgehog. Before we jump, let’s talk about the teaser image up there. It’s from the next game in the Sonic series, titled Sonic: Lost World. So what exactly are we seeing there? Well there’s Sonic on top of the Tornado (most likely piloted by Tails). But then there’s this fractured globe, connected by hexagon-shaped landmasses. There’s some aquatic areas, some plains, a forest, an ice cap, and volcanic areas. There’s also two desert-like areas, probably one resembling a standard desert and the other a more rugged, American-styled desert.

Iwata states that Nintendo is partnering with Sega for this venture. It’s not certain how deep this venture goes, but we do know that Sonic: Lost World will be exclusive to the Wii U and 3DS.

More on Nintendo Direct after the break.

Now there’s something you don’t see everyday.

Iwata revealed the next entry in the Mario and Sonic Winter Olympics series, which takes place in Sochi next year. New to this is Pairs in Figure Skating, Slopestyle for Snowboarding, and a Biathlon event where players move from skiing  to rifle shooting, changing to another control scheme (like Wii Remote to Gamepad) in the process. There’s also Dream Events that take place in the Mario and Sonic worlds. Finally, the craziest addition is the Mixed event that sees the cast randomly switching between Skiing, Snowboaring, Skating, and Bobsledding in a single race.

In the last bit of Sega news, Iwata announced that more Game Gear games will be coming to the 3DS Virtual Console. Iwata indirectly acknowledged that the selection of Game Gear games is small, so the games you see above will be added as time goes on.

Next, JC Rodrigo from the Nintendo Treehouse took over a bit to talk about more Wii U and 3DS games. First up was the release date for The Legend of Zelda Oracle of Ages and Seasons on the Virtual Console. They’ll be available on May 30th for $5.99 each. However, for the first three weeks of release, they’ll be on sale for only $4.99 each.

After talking a bit about the level creation features of Mario vs. Donkey Kong: Minis on the Move, he moved on to Donkey Kong Country Returns 3D and the 8 extra stages you can unlock. The new stages are part of the 9th world, called Cloud Gateway, and are based on the theme of each world before it. It’ll be available on May 24th.

Next up was Animal Crossing: New Leaf, and JC mentioned that since there’s so much to talk about in regards to the game, they’ll be releasing a series of episodes with the localization team on the things you can do in the game. They’ll be in Nintendo’s Youtube channel and eShop.

Game & Wario was touched upon, with a new minigame being revealed where you launch Fronks at a target. You can try getting as many points as possible, or be a douche to your friends and knock their Fronk off the platform. There’s also another minigame called Patchwork starring Kat and Anna where you piece together pixel shaped puzzle pieces to form an image, like horse or 8-Bit Mario. Finally, there’s Kung-Fu starring Young Cricket. He’ll jump from platform to platform, but the TV only has a camera behind Young Cricket. The gamepad has a downward facing camera angle showing you where you’ll be landing. Think SNES Pilotwing’s Rocketbelt bonus stage, but without the constant need to press R.

Game & Wario will be available on June 23rd for $39.99.

Iwata took over once again, revealing more info on Resident Evil Revelations for the Wii U. Unlike the PS3/360 versions of the game, the Wii U version will play closer to the 3DS version thanks to the Gamepad’s touchscreen. You can also play the game in Off-TV mode. However like PS3/360 versions, players will have the option to play using the Wii U Pro controller. The game will be available on May 21st. There’s a demo available now on all three consoles.

Iwata talked a bit more about the NSMB U expansion, New Super Luigi U. The game will have the co-op we all know and love from the regular game. But since Mario’s not in the game, taking his place is Nabbit, the Toad House thief. Nabbit is essentially an Easy Mode character as he can’t get hurt by enemies and hazards. At the same time, he’ll be unable to collect power-ups, only gaining points from them. This also makes him somewhat of a troll character since power-ups have no effect on him, making friendly trolling much more plausible if your friend is in desperate need for a Mushroom.

Along with being a downloadable expansion, Nintendo will be releasing a standalone retail version of the game with a rather Xbox-like snazzy green case. The downloadable version will be available on Jone 20th for $19.99. The standalone will be available on August 25th for $29.99.

Next up was a confirmed release date for Hideki Kamiya’s The Wonderful 101. It’ll be available on September 15th. It’s also sporting a finalized logo, and dear lord is it sexy!

Next up with Pikmin 3. It was revealed to us back at New York Comic-Con that the character James was controlling was actually not Olimar, but a new character. We’re finally getting the name of that character, and his is Alph. He’ll be joined by two other characters as well, Charlie and Brittany. After months of speculation, we finally see what will be done with the Gamepad. Though it’s predictable that the second screen would have a map of the place you’re in, you can also check up on the status of your partners elsewhere on the map to see if they’re in trouble. You can tell your partners to go so a specific location should the need arise. You can also check up on any Pikmin that are carrying materials back to the spaceship to make sure they’re okay.

The game can be played using the GamePad with controls similar to the Gamecube entries, or be played using the Wiimote+/Nunchuck combo similar to the Wii versions.

As for the story, it’s rather dark and kinda sad. Instead of paying off a debt like Olimar, The planet these new characters come from, Koppai, is dying due to limited resources. As Alph, Charlie, and Brittany were setting off to look food to help their planet, they crash land on a planet full of Pikmin. With the help of these Pikmin, they realized that the materials on this planet could be used to help Koppai.

Finally Reggie took over to share what Nintendo has planned for E3. They will not have a grand Press Conference like previous years, but instead will have a Nintendo Direct showcase around the time of E3. The icing on the cake is that Nintendo has partnered with Best Buy to have demo stations set up with games that they will feature at E3. “This year, we’re making E3 for the people,” Reggie states. “We’ve partnered with Best Buy to make it possible for consumers in the United States and Canada to experience select, unreleased Wii U games at more than 100 retail locations during the week of E3.”

You can check out the Nintendo Direct video in full by clicking here.

Twitter, Twitter, Twitter. Once again the micro-blogging platform rears its ugly head, potentially putting someone’s career on the line. EA Senior Engineer Bob Summerwill took to Twitter today to start a little mini rant against the Wii U. Speaking to Scott Hanselman, who simply asked a question, Summerwill took this opportunity to vent about some of the Wii U’s shortcomings, namely the lack of games on the console since the beginning of this year (though that could change). He kicked off his tirade with “The Wii U is crap. Less powerful than an Xbox 360, poor online/store. Weird tablet. Nintendo are walking dead at this point.” The tweets have since been deleted. But IGN has screencaps of them for the public to see.

This comes as mounting suspicion grows regarding the relationship between EA and Nintendo. EA revealed that their Frostbite 3 engine was incompatible with the Wii U due to performance issues. All future EA titles would be using the Frostbite 3 engine, meaning no EA games on the Wii U. Yet, they got the engine to work with the 360 and PS3. They’re modifying it to work with iPads. Some just want EA to stop the BS and just say that they just don’t want to work with Nintendo, albeit a little more nicely, or simply say nothing at all and stop putting up thinly veiled excuses.

While there might be some truth to his words, the delivery of Summerwill’s message has the potential to become a PR nightmare for EA and hamper any current or future partnerships between them and Nintendo should the state of the Wii U improve.

The unfortunate side effect of Summerwill’s tirade is that people think Scott Hanselman, the one who initially asked the question, made the tweets and believe he’s the one talking down the Wii U. As a result, a lot of rage has been misdirected towards Hanselman when it should actually go towards Summerwill.

EA Senior Engineer: ‘The Wii U Is Crap’ [IGN]